Another list of wishfullly free items

This may be the last installment of this type of post... it's really quite common and is almost universally prefaced with "I know this is a long shot, but..."

OK. People are sometimes generous. However, if there were as many free cars in the world as are requested on Freecycle, some fundamental law of physics would almost certainly be broken. I suppose it just goes to show that (unlike energy, matter, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch) there is no such thing as the Law of Conservation of Stupidity.

Here are some of the worst offenders, often not even offering a sob story to try and sway some person's golden heart:

WANTED: Car in working condition

Hi. I'm in need of a car in working condition. Can someone please help
Thank you

Hey, I've got a car that works! It'll be perfect for you, I swear! As long as you live uphill of where you need to go. And have a ski lift to tow it back up to your house. But it does have 4 wheels and is very fuel efficient! OK, it's a leprous skateboard, but they are working very hard on a cure for leprosy these days, and the chances of your getting infected are very low as long as you don't hit a tiny piece of gravel and scrape your knees and elbows, leading to open woulds through which leprotic germs may enter.

WANTED: Car in working condition

looking for a toyota or something comparable.

I'll make you the same offer I made the last guy. What? You can compare a leprous skateboard to a Toyota. It doesn't stack up very well, but that doesn't stop you from comparing.

Wanted:Pick-up truck in working order

It could be a source of partime income in a dayly strougle for
survivor in today's economy for a low income family, anything will be
appriciated, thanks you all.

It could be. Or it could be the basis for building a portable meth lab. Not that it couldn't be both, thanks you.

We are looking for a Drill Press

We are looking for a drill press. :-)

Apparently, they assume we don't know how to read subjects. Or they thought that sending a message with just a smiley-face in the body would be kind of creepy (this was the entirety of the message). Anyway, it turns out that some models are not as expensive as I thought they were, but still...

And finally we have this last one. I don't know, maybe this sort of thing actually works, because the same guy is asking for more free professional labor:


Again, no details, no mention of contract, just a request for someone to do for free what they normally get paid to do. Will materials be provided? Tools? At the very least, lemonade? I see this sort of thing the same as if I walked into an accountant's office and asked them to do my taxes for free. Or going to a restaurant and expecting a free meal. Or going up to a professional sports team owner and asking them to do, uh, to do... well, whatever it is that they do. For free. That is.


At 12:49 AM, Blogger Higgy said...

Bis - I don't stop by here much, but I love your freediculous stuff. I browse the free listings on craigslist all the time, and some of them are very similar....

At 1:02 AM, Blogger Derek said...

Awesome! I've started looking at the "Best Of" on Craigslist for kicks and giggles. If you see any particularly amusing free posts, send 'em my way!


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